Toldot: Letting life move through us

This week, our Torah portion carries a key to moving through our challenges.  Rebecca is pregnant with her twins, Jacob and Esau.  She is having a difficult time because they are struggling and fighting with each other in her womb. It is literally hard for her to bear.  She is so frustrated and full of despair that she asks God,  “Im cain, lamah zeh anochi?”    If it’s like this, why am I?  Why am I even here, if I have to hold all this struggle, all this difficulty?

Many of us have come to this place ourselves.  A place of despair; of not knowing why we are meant to be here if we have to contend with so much struggle. 

Rebecca reminds me that like a pregnant woman, I am large enough to contain all of it.  That life and love will prevail if I allow myself to be stretched open with my challenges.  And that it’s ok to speak from my heart to God about how I feel and what I need.

Even in the darkest times, we can find solace by allowing ourselves to be in touch with our deepest feelings, share with God and each other, and know we are strong enough to let it all move through us. 

Gam zeh ya’avor… this too shall pass.